MUSIC AND MOOOGEYYYYY

A warm welcome to my blog post, this one is a special one!!

my previous posts have somehow always gone back to members of my family, and it is due time that you've met the center that truly holds us all together- MOOGEY

this is a much younger me and my mom on top of Mount Mitchell in North Carolina- YES, IT IS A PLACE YOU SHOULD GO IT'S PURTYYYYY

her actual name (i guess one could say) is Judy McCallion, but she is Mama McCallion, ie my mom, but we all affectionately call her moogey because its an incredible nickname but also too, it is indeed a star trek reference. 

           (Moogey is the name of one our favorite character's mother on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. They are an alien species called the Ferengi, who happen to have the funniest episodes on the series. The dramatic way in almost every instance they need their mother they go "I want my mooogey!" must have resonated with me and my sister, and we decided to adopt it. Now my niece only knows her as Mama Moogey, so it is likely a title here to stay. For more understanding of this, here is a few clips of this concept...)

INTERVIEEW TIMEEE

I wasn't quite sure how I would conduct this interview with my mother, but I eventually decided to have it framed around the main question of- what would the soundtrack to your life be? And then trusting in my and her genetic ability to carry a conversation where no man has gone before... 

My mom responded with "There's stuff I like but it doesn't accurately describe or feel that autobiographical..." which I actually totally expected as her answer because  y mom is a much more accurate and precision-based human than I... regardless, she eventually was able to come up with some pretty solid things, but disclaimer from my mother that every lyric or idea might not wholly articulate her experiences, etc. etc.

The first song made me quite excited because it actually is a super fantastic guitar and/or piano piece that I always beg any guitarist I know to play, and I totally forgot that my mom is likely the person I learned it from. (this is a trend y'all)

One of my mother's earliest musical memories and experiences were when her father would pull out his guitar and just play for his family. 

This is one of the pieces he either played often, or similar to one he played. 

    "He wouldn't play every week, often enough, usually a Sunday after dinner thing. Just hanging out together... he didn't sing with it, but he was spirited in his playing. It wasn't about them (siblings and mom) listening... he would start very slowly (part of the soundscape *wink*), then you would key into it at the parts that are more intense and then it's like ahhh yes, he is playing"

Her Dad would always give her mother records for Christmas, so the house was no stranger to music, the radio or record player being on often.

Fun Fact that Seemed Impactful to Me in the Interview: Records = music you listened t0 when you did not want COMMERCIALS 

Likely somewhat related to the influence of hearing her dad play guitar for years, Moogey signed up for guitar lessons in 4th and 5th grade. She ended up later playing guitar at Sunday mass for a year or so- but looking back the style of guitar she wishes she had gotten to learn is the more Spanish guitar style. (hey mom, you can always start now ☺)

The next piece she chose for her "soundtrack" excited me because, well...

Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring Suite!!!! (Ryan aren't you excited???)

Her family would go camping a ton, and when my mom started dating my dad, they would sometimes go to see overlooks. They absolutely carried this tradition with me and my sister because I have this deep-seated need to be in the woods or in the mountains on a regular basis, same way you'd water a plant, take me and my mom to the mountains...

My mom had 3 other siblings, and her parents decidedly made an effort to spend time with each child individually. Her dad took just my mother canoeing one day, maybe on the Shenandoah River together, and she remembers it being really fun.

I personally had a lightbulb moment (more like 70) in this interview, and one was simply in hearing about my mother's childhood, and how her parents, well, parented. They lived in Silver Spring, Maryland. Their house had a first, second floor, and basement. In the basement, there was a workshop her father used, laundry, and then a play area full of toys found at yard sales as well as the verrrry old record player of music (there are the numbers 33 and 45 involved, but neither my mother nor I are the most confident about these details) from when her parents were teenagers- thus some of the other sounds of my mother's childhood was actually 50s music in the 70s. So, she hadn't formed a taste or a distaste for her parent's music, she was just having fun.

    "You could never be bored in my parents' house. We were lucky, my parents put up with the chaos kids bring- with toys and the mentality of CREATIVE MESS IS OKAY"

I can't really describe how happy and excited I was when my mom said that because there was just a sense of familiarity with this concept/family value that goes unsaid. Creative mess, among other ideas, is just a really good way to articulate experiences with her family growing up- or more so that openness to creative messes in the pursuit of growing and living... yeah it makes me happy. Appalachian Spring at 20 minutes and 52 seconds is just about how I felt when she described some of this to me.

Next song on Moogey's Soundtrack is another that just makes sense to me because it's one of the ones she would sing every time it came on the radio. I am realizing now just how much an impact my mom liking a song so much she would sing with it had on me- because all her favorites I just deeply enjoy. Power of suggestion?

Lenny Kravitz- Fly Away

Basically, my mom hit the part of her life where she said-

     "i need to start my own grown-up life and Get AWAYYY"

My parents got married at 19 and 20 and though I guess that's considered young, they both were just ready to life and they had each other to support and love along the way.

A few years or so after living together in Maryland, my parents made the decision to move to where they wanted to raise their kids (ha-ha me at some point, but we are getting there...) so they by the advice of my dad's dad that "hey Greenville, South Carolina is going to boom in like a decade you might as well go near there". I just think that detail is so cool that he just was so confident and WASNT WRONG.

My parents have my sister Lizzie and then 8 years later ME. When I am about 2 or 3, however, my mom gets a cancer diagnosis. These next two songs live around this moment in time and after.

Seether- Rise Above This (Erin is realizing we have the same taste) 

"I picked this song just because the most difficult times of your life, once you get through them, you realize they weren't so hard looking back, and you can take anything on. You're not invincible- but you can rise above some really hard things"

And rise above you did, Moogey! (i love you so much)

I was too young to really remember much of this part of my life, but my mom battled some tough chemo treatments and the emotional toll of a scary diagnosis and stress that comes from it. My dad was halfway through nursing school at the time, so we really didn't have much money. My mom was working at a preschool. When her doctor told her it was cancer, she said, "are you sure you can't just give me antibiotics", which is so real, mom.

How does one rise above during the trials of life such as cancer?

It's not alone and it isn't in a lone moment.

    "More than one community started to help, the church, the preschool, family and friends... because soooo many doctors appoints and medicine and chemo... they told me not to go to church because of my immunity, but, there was a 7:30am Sunday mass no one went to, if there was a week i felt healthy enough- I'd say, “screw the doctors' orders I'm going to mass” "

My mom's spirit and raw determination is always carrying the amazing things I see my parents do, and there's many places where I see it recharge. Sometimes for my mom, its church, but other times its in music (sometimes the music is AT church lol). One example I was hoping she would think of was Band of Horses- The Funeral, but its a verrrry specific case where the music video is of Danny Macaskill doing absolutely legendary bike tricks. It is really cool to see how music could develop over time to have music videos as a mixed media form of art.

" ...dad spent at least 7 years on his free time training and racing (cycling...oh there's more to this but would you believe it this is my condensed blog post?) but it was from his ages 30 - 40, and our attitude together was if you're gonna do this, you will never be stronger than now, do your BEST and SEE WHAT HAPPENS...."

While my mother was having chemo, and my father had just about finished up his cycling career, my mother saw this video and listened to the lyrics and thought- “I'm not waiting my funeral, I'm waiting for the funeral of the DEATH of my cancer”.

She also connected with how the video starts with him trying and falling and falling again and again, and to my mom she realized, "don't worry if you fall down, that just shows you're getting better!" (which is a direct quote from when a bunch of toddlers were taught how to roller-skate at the preschool my mom worked at)

So, you can see here- music and not just music alone is how my mother (and ultimately, I too as her offspring) really connect and engage with our experiences. It's inseparably wrapped up in our stories- part of quiet moments in nature or with family (if it's my family it's probably loud moments...) or part of the din when fighting physical and emotional battles. Growing up with her parent's own stories through their music, then meshing with my mother's becoming story made me see how mine is doing the same. Maybe very close to the meaning of family is that shared story. Music is just one of the richest ways we get to tell our stories...

To Close my long-winded sort of summary of my interview with my mom:

Me: Got a favorite memory of music?

Moogey: Yessss, I think it was after I had been taking guitar lessons, I was still a pre teen, once or twice a year I would go somewhere special with my dad. He took me to a concert at the Kennedy Center, Andres Segovia. When you go into one of the best performance venues with grown ups very excited, it is so special. The performance started, and I was trying my best to be well behaved and polite, sitting properly. Then, part way through at the break, someone in the row behind us said to my dad, "sir can you stop drumming your fingers it is bothering the show" 😆